Living with Intentionality: Making Your Twenties Matter

Graduating from college is bittersweet. Despite everyone telling our grads how lucky they are to be young, free, and have their whole life ahead of them, there’s a sense of sadness as they say goodbye to friends, places, and their younger selves. Entering adulthood and the pressure to figure everything out can be more than a little scary. Oh, and let’s not overlook all the emotions we parents have around this.

As tempting as it is to encourage the young adults in our lives to take it easy and have some fun while they’re young, you may also consider sharing with them Dr. Meg Jay’s book, The Defining Decade.

According to Dr. Jay, a clinical psychologist specializing in twenty-somethings, many of our life’s successes and problems originated from activities in our twenties. She shares that one of the best ways to make the most of one’s twenties is to treat it as a time to generate “identity capital.” This is a term Dr. Jay coined to conceptualize the idea of investing in yourself and your future. Just as the amount of monetary capital we have determines our options for purchasing clothes, houses, cars, and life’s luxuries, we use our identity capital to purchase jobs and relationships.

There is a lot of great information in The Defining Decade; however, the discussion around Identity capital really spoke to me. A twenty-something pursuing their first job(s) often focus on how much money they will make; however, according to Dr. Jay, their goal should be seeking the connections, relationships, and opportunities for learning and training they can get from their first jobs. This focus will ultimately provide the most benefit and set them up for success throughout their adult lives.

Taking time to reflect, I felt inclined to share as our family is about to send one of our own twenty-somethings off into the world. To say I am proud and excited for her is a gross understatement. My most sincere congratulations to her and other 2022 Graduates and all twenty-somethings making their way.

Far from an unimportant period for fun or going into the workforce only focused on making a lot of money, the twenties set the trajectory for the rest of our young people’s lives. They are a time for holding their nerve, making decisions, and living with intentionality.

Onward…

-Susan Arant